Sacrifice
by Ryuuen Kurai
Summary: Sadness, depression and suicide... my first quite dark BH fic... What would happen if one of the Sorcerer Hunters would want to end it all? (I'm not telling who. You must read my fic to find out, though I know you have an idea, if you're familiar with my
1. Prologue

STANDARD DISCLAIMER:

_Bakuretsu Hunters _still isn't mine and will never be even if I write as many fanfics to cover the world seven times. How I wish I owned Marron though… and Chocolate to keep him company, of course.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

This is a fic I thought up in the wee hours of night when I lay awake trying to sleep in vain. It'd be another series, quite dark if you ask me coz it touches a bit on suicidal themes... Okay… it deals a LOT with suicide and depression and all that melancholy stuff… In fact, I drew the PLOT from that. I don't really know why exactly am I posting this up but… well, I am. I'm not used to writing suicide fics and this, in fact, is my first one. Don't flame me for any inappropriate description. I haven't committed suicide yet to know the works… Another product of insomnia, I have this lined for ten depressing chapters, a prologue and an epilogue… Read and enjoy… I hope…

**SACRIFICE**

By: Ryuuen

Prologue

One… Two… Three… Four…

            I watch in fascination as crimson fluid began to trickle down my skin, a sharp contrast to its inherent paleness, the gash which was its source still holding the jagged blade that tore through its frailty seconds ago. The old grandfather's clock that adorned the room ticked noisily in the background, as though reminding me that my life was at its mercy.

            Five… Six… Seven… Eight…

            More drops ooze out of my fresh wound, eliciting a groan from deep within my throat, a sound that echoed through the stillness of the night. And there was silence. Comfortable silence. Blessed silence. Silence that would prove to be the last sound my mortal ears would ever hear. Did it really have to end this way? I sink the blade even deeper, a moan, both from pain as well as pleasure, escaping unheeded from my lips. I could savor its coppery taste distinctly, a taste so intoxicating yet so threatening, as though they had fallen upon my lips instead of unto the rough floor that served as my sanctuary. I could see nothing but my trembling hand, holding the handle of that with which I would finally end all these, waiting in anticipation for a final boost of courage, or was it stupidity, to finish what it had set out to do. Tears drowned the hollowness of my eyes, retracing their paths on my cheeks as I remember HIS words…

            _I'm sorry, Chocolate, but… I can never love you in the way you want me to._

An uncomfortable pause followed.

_            Is there somebody else?_ I had asked then, though deep inside, I already knew the answer.

            _Hai._

_            Is it my sister?_

_             I'm sorry._

Nine… Ten… Eleven… Twelve…

            I lost count. The blood was flowing freely now from the widened gash and in a spur of coherent thought, I removed the offending knife and cast it aside. Futilely, I tried to cover up my wound, trying to suppress the bleeding, logic arguing with feelings, reason battling with emotion. 

What am I doing with myself?

_I'm sick and tired of living._

Why am I doing this?

_I want to end it all._

What do I plan to accomplish with all these?

_I want to get rid of all these suffering. _

Is death the answer?

_Death is my refuge._

Is it even worth it?

_It hurts too much._

What would the others say?

_Would they even care if I were gone?_

What would my sister do?

_Would she even mourn?_

What would HE think?

_Would HE even notice?_

My eyes travel from my throbbing pulse to the clock and I sighed. It was nine o'clock. The others must be sleeping now, drifting off into dreamland in each other's arms as I suffered here all alone in the darkness of my room. Alone… I lived my life like that and thus shall I end it. How long have I been sitting here, bleeding to an almost painless death, the last remaining moments of my life ticking slowly with the hands of time? How much time have I spent trying to suppress all these emotions only to give up in the end?

**_You have the strength of soul, Choco-chan, that few have manifested. Use it wisely._**

_Apricot-san… I'm sorry. It turns out that I'm not as strong as you thought me to be. I'll be joining you sooner than you expected._

I retrieve the discarded blade with even more trembling fingers but with all the conviction I could muster. This was what I wanted wasn't it? This was how I wanted to die, was it not, all alone, with no one standing in my way? Right? I firmly believed so. Positioning the weapon against the slowly recuperating wound, I choke back a sob. Why do I have to do this?

Just then, a timid knock broke the silence, accompanied by a voice I didn't wish to hear.

"Oneesama, are you still awake?"

_Tira?_

"Oneesama… please answer me."

_No… Go away! Please… leave me alone… _

"Oneesama, please. I want to speak with you. I know you're not sleeping. Please let me in."

_Shut up! You have no right to tell me what to do._

"Oneesama… please…"

"Tira, what's with all the shouting?" another voice called… a voice I knew all too well… a voice that belonged to…__

"Carrot, help me. Oneesama locked herself up in her room and she won't let me in… I just hope she isn't…"

Tira trailed off as Carrot suddenly banged his fist continuously on the door.

"Chocolate. Open up. It's me Carrot. Please…Don't do this to yourself…"

"Carrot…" I whisper his name softly, familiar yet so foreign.

"Yes, Chocolate. It's me. Please don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to us. Don't do this to me…"

"I'm sorry, Carrot. I'm tired."

"Oneesama! Oneesama! Please don't say that! Please… don't leave me alone." 

Tira's voice quivered and I knew that she was in tears. Carrot stopped his assault.

_Probably trying to comfort my hysteric sister…Well, there'd be no one to hinder their relationship any longer…_

With greater resolve, I try to steady my fingers, readying them for their final task.

"Chocolate… don't be stupid… Don't throw your life away like this…"

"Oneesama… please…I… I need you…"

_I'm sorry, Tira but you'll be on your own from now on. Please take care of Carrot when I'm gone._

"Chocolate…"

_Carrot… Though you never have, remember that I'll forever be yours. Please take care of my sister for me. _

And with a sudden rush of emotions, I plunge the blade deeper until I feel the fragile vein that guarded my life break and I let out a sob. This was it. I was going to die. I close my eyes as I feel my body fall limply to the floor. I lay there, waiting…waiting for my Time to come… waiting for the Death I so long craved… Just then, the door bursts open and I hear a multitude of voices gasp.

"Oneesama!!!"

Tira wailed as she gathered my limp form into her arms. I open my eyes to take one last look at my friends, my sister and HIM and I smile weakly. _They… He…_cared after all. 

"Oneesama, why did you do this?"

Marron grabbed my bleeding wrist and began to perform a healing spell on it. I snatch it away forcefully and with one last motion, I placed Carrot's hand upon Tira's and smiled once again. 

"Love her, Carrot," I say with a tremor in my voice. "Love her the way I loved you."

I let go of his hand as I felt my breath catch in my throat and all was lost, my sister's mournful cry the last thing I heard before all turned to black.

Okay… .:dabs at eyes with hanky:. Call me pathetic but I was crying while I was writing this one… I felt as though I was writing my own suicide letter of some sort. I've never cried while writing or reading any other fanfic before… Why the heck am I getting so worked up over this? .:sniff:. Oh you are too? Sugoi!!! I'm glad I'm not the only one… (Note to self: Talking to imaginary readers is an indication of insanity.)

Ahemm… Let me remind you though that this is just the beginning of a VERY long story and depression is just starting to settle in… There'd be more of this sort to come if you'd bombard me with reviews demanding for the next chap… which I hope you will… ^ ~  Ja!


	2. Chapter One Tira

Please refer to Prologue for the STANDARD DISCLAIMER.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Ohayo, minna-san! Thanks for the wonderful and inspiring reviews for the Prologue of this series. It was quite flattering to think that I was actually able to express Chocolate's emotion in a manner that would make you, my readers, feel it, too. Thanks a bunch really to all those who reviewed. Oh, and don't worry. I'm NOT suicidal. The thought never even crossed my mind. I just thought it was a great idea for a fic, that's all. I do hope none of YOU are, though… Nonetheless, I am in no way encouraging you to do so no matter how much your life sucks and things aren't going your way. A word of advice: committing seppuku is NOT the answer… Believe me, it isn't worth it, as I shall later prove in this fic. That being clarified, let's go on to Chapter One now, shall we?

**SACRIFICE**

By: Ryuuen

Chapter One

Waiting

            _Oneesama…_ _Doshite… Doshite, Oneesama…_

I watched through a waterfall of tears as Marron peered over her limp body, concern for once marring his fragile countenance, repeating the healing spell that he had tried to administer before. A noticeable frown began to form upon his face as the spell progressed and I couldn't help but worry even more. Moments later, he stopped and stood up. I looked up at him expectantly and he sighed wearily, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Tira, sumimasen, demo… she had lost too much blood and is losing more even as we speak. There is nothing much I can do. We should bring her to a professional doctor immediately."

"Nani?" I stood up as well and grabbed the front of his tunic. "Tell me, Marron. Is she… is my sister…going to… going to…" I managed to croak the last word out."…_ die_?"

The mage further averted his gaze and, ignoring my question, faced the group's muscleman. "Gateau, please find us a medium of transport. I recall seeing a hospital in town." And with that, he bent down and gently scooped my sister's body into his arms and rushed off after our teammate. I felt a hand over my shoulder and when I looked up, I found two dark orbs looking down on me with a sympathetic expression.

"Ca…Carrot…"

He gathered me into his arms and replied soothingly, wiping off the tears trailing unheeded down my cheeks, "Shh… Tira-chan… don't cry. Everything's going to be okay... Chocolate is going to be alright… She was never one to give up without putting up a fight…She'll… she'll come back, you'll see…"

His voice shook as he told me this, as though he was trying to convince himself as well. I pushed him away. Shock as well as a pained expression registered upon his face. "Tira-chan…"

I did not reply.

He approached me slowly but I stepped back.

"I'm sorry, Carrot, but I can't do this…"

"Nani?" It seemed that he did not understand.

"I'm sorry, Carrot, but can't you see? You… I… this is the reason why… why oneesama did what she did. I can't… I just can't…"

My voice caught in my throat and I broke down sobbing. Clutching the doorknob for support, I forced myself to look back at him, his head bowed, his eyes shielded with stray wisps of hair. Eternity seemed to have past before he finally spoke, his voice, soft and low.

"Tira-chan…"

I blinked as black met scarlet and for that single moment, I almost wanted to forget everything, forget everything and flung myself into his arms and weep. _Almost…_

I turn around, breaking the eye contact and begin to leave. "Marron must be waiting for us downstairs. Oneesama isn't getting any better… There… There is no time to lose…"

* * *

            "Marron, what's wrong?" He had gone ahead with my sister to the hospital and left Gateau to wait for us as we packed our belongings. It was for the best, he had said. 

            The mage shook his head. "Nothing… it's just that, Chocolate has suffered much blood loss that the doctor strongly recommends blood transfusion. However, the hospital seemed to have ran out of her type of blood so…"

            He trailed off but I understood. Heaving a sigh, I turned to face my companions, trying to ignore that queer flutter of my heart when my eyes landed on Carrot, and stated boldly. "If this is the only way… then take mine."

* * *

            _Where… where am I?_

_            I look around and find myself surrounded by glaring light. Oneesama?_

_            **Gomen, Tira-chan.**_

****

****_Nani? Who… who are you?_

_            **No one and everyone.**_

****

****_What's that supposed to mean? Who are you? Where am I? Am I…_

_            **Iie, Tira-chan. **_

****

****_Then… where am I? Oneesama? Is she alright?_

_            **Hai, Tira-chan… thanks to you…**_

****

****_Really?_

_            **Hai. You saved her, Tira-chan, though I am not sure if she is entirely grateful…**_

****

****_Nani? But…why? _

_            **Gomen, Tira-chan, but that is not for me to answer.**_

****

****_But… _

_            **Now let ME ask you a question…**_

****

****_But…you still haven't answered all of mine…_

_            **Who are you?**_

****

****_Nani? You already know my name._

_            **Who are you?**_

****

****_Why are you doing this?_

_            **Who are you?**_

****

****_I am Tira Misu._

_            **Who are you?**_

****

****_I am Tira Misu, sister to Chocolate Misu, belonging to a secret group of Sorcerer Hunters working under Big Momma… there, happy now?_

_            **Why?**_

****

****_Why what?_

_            **Why did you choose to be a Sorcerer Hunter?**_

****

****_It is my destiny._

_            **Is it? Wasn't it you who said that people choose their own destiny?**_

****

****_Nani? But… how did you know?_

_            **Why did you choose to be a Sorcerer Hunter?**_

****

****_Maybe… Maybe it had been because of Oneesama and my friends, Marron, Gateau and… and Carrot…_

**_            Tell me about them._**

****

****_Who? My friends?_

_            **Tell me about Marron.**_

****

****_Marron… well, he isn't expressive but he has always been a great friend and adviser.  He may not look it but he is, in fact, the strongest of us all. He treats Oneesama and me with respect. He's kinda sweet to us, and THAT's saying something. He's really patient and understanding, being able to tolerate Gateau's flirting though I am not entirely sure whether he doesn't reciprocate Gateau's emotions._

_            **You seem rather fond of Marron… **_

****

****_I am… I am fond of all of them…_

_            **Alright, how about Gateau?  Tell me about him.**_

****

****_Well, to be honest with you, I don't know Gateau as much as I know the others. He seldom talks to me, you know. But he is really dependable in times of crisis. Like I mentioned to you, he is in love with Marron, though he would flirt with anything beautiful, be it male or female…_

_            **How about your sister, Chocolate? Tell me about her.**_

****

****_Oneesama… well, she is the very best sister I could ever ask for. Though she tends to be immature sometimes, I love her dearly. She loves Carrot and tends to be extremely showy with her affections. Demo, she is very noble and would give up everything for the ones she loves… she would give up everything, even her life and happiness… she almost did…_

_            **And lastly, Carrot…**_

****

****_Carrot… he has always been a good and caring friend, though he tends to be rather air- headed sometimes.  His life's mission seems to be to chase girls of all shapes and sizes. He has a carefree nature but I have seen how serious he can get… He…_

_            **What does he mean to you?**_

****

****_Carrot… he… he was… he is someone very special to me…_

_            **Then why?**_

****

****_What do you mean?_

**I'm sorry, Carrot, but I can't do this…**

_Oh…_

_            **Why, Tira-chan?**_

****

****_I… I don't know… It's just that… Can't you see? Oneesama almost died because of… It would be best if…_

****

**_            Would it?_**

****

****_Who are you? Why are you doing this? What right have you to intrude into my personal thoughts?_

_            **Really, Tira-chan. Would shunning away from Carrot really be for the best?**_

****

****_Hai… I think so._

_            **Or are you just feeling guilty?**_

****

****_Nani? But Oneesama… _

_            **Would she have wanted this?**_

****

****_I… I don't know._

_            **What was it that she did before losing consciousness?**_

****

****_She… she placed Carrot's hand upon mine and told him to love me as much as she had loved him? Then…she… she must have thought that she was the only thing that prevented me from being with Carrot so she… Oh Oneesama!_

_            **Hai…**_

****

****_But…now that she lives…I just can't…_

_            **Would she have wanted that?**_

****

****_But…_

_            **Would she have wanted you to give up both your and Carrot's happiness just for her?**_

****

****_Iie… Oneesama… Oneesama isn't like that…but… what shall happen to her if…_

_            **Your sister shall find happiness in due time, Tira-chan…**_

****

****_Nani? How do you know these things? Just… just… who are you?_

_            **It is time to wake up now, Tira-chan…**_

****

****_Another blinding flash of light and I felt myself falling…_

* * *

            The first sensation I felt when I regained consciousness was that of a soft, even breath whispering across my face, fanning the wisps of pinkish hair tickling my cheeks. I strain to open my eyes and am surprised to find someone's head resting next to mine, my hands clasped in his. _Carrot…_

"It's good to see you're awake. Carrot didn't know who to worry over more… you or your sister…"

            My eyes drift across what I had presumed was one of the hospital rooms and land on the only other person in the room. "Ga…Gateau…"

            "Hai. Expecting someone else?" He chuckled as he approached. "Marron's in the other room tending to your sister. Chocolate is fine and, though she is still unconscious, I expect that she'll live."

            "Nani? Marron?"

            "Hai. I haven't seen him this worked up ever. I'm beginning to wonder if…"

            "Ne, Gateau? Is that jealousy I sense?"

            He smirked. "I'll have you know that I have nothing to be jealous of. Now just get some rest. I'm going to go check on those two just to be sure, though…"

            I managed a weak smile. "Thank you, Gateau. I'd appreciate that."

            The muscleman nodded and padded softly towards the door. "But you know what?" he asked, stopping before turning the doorknob and looking back with a conspiratory grin. "Don't tell your sister I told you this but I think you and Carrot make a pretty cute couple." And with that, he closed the door.

            I blinked momentarily before remembering to blush at the comment. Now that was something you didn't hear from him everyday. Weakly, I turn my gaze to Carrot and touch his cheek. After what I've said… I sigh, leaning back against the pillows, reclining my head against his… I really would need to talk to him after everything's over. But for now… I yawn sleepily before entirely closing my eyes… _Oyasumi nasai, koibito…_

* * *

            Just so you'd know, I got the idea for the dream sequence from the last few episodes of Shin Seiki Evangelion. Just thought it would fit in well. Gomen if this chap seems a little bit rushed. Sadly, I am once again experiencing writer's block and it's a miracle that I had made it this far. Anyway, if you have any guess as to who the mysterious voice is…

            Oh and please write me more reviews… They are the only things that keep me writing this fic… I hope I didn't disappoint you with this chapter… I'll try to revise it if need be but for now, please bear with me… Oh, and by the way, for those who liked my one-shot, _Memories_, watch out coz I plan to transform that into a series, as what I have done for _Irony_… Ja!


End file.
